Operating Theatre. Recovery. Hunger. Loneliness.

Tues 24/06/08:

At Mount Elizabeth, there was only one thing i could do. Wait.

Operating staff came to find me at my ward to bring me into the theatre.
Lied on the bed looking at ceiling.
Excited. Yeah. Panicky. Not really.
Thinking of anything? I dun even noe whether I shld be thinking of that.
Finally the anaesthetist came in after a long period of lying on the operating table n listening to my heartbeat which was apparently pounding quite fast.
The room was clean with super a lot of power lights for the op.
My dentists' soon came and after asking the question, "Are we ready to start?" and a reply of "Yes" i was soon knocked out immediately.

Woke up in the high dependency unit after a 6.5 Hours operation.
Major? You bet.
Felt a swollen face. Lips protruding like crazy. Bleeding like crazy. Couldnt do anything. Just slept until the night. Ask the nurses quite a lot of times for the time. It was really passing very slowly.

5.30pm

9.30pm

1am

During this time, I hardly slept. Trying my best to breathe using both my mouth n my nose which were blocked by blood n mucus. As the operation involved practically most of my face, blood were definitely oozing out in the masses. Had to do lots of suction in my mouth to remove the blood. Had this two pumps to collect the excess blood too. Too bad. din took a photo.

This period of time was really tough.

I felt lost.
I felt lonely.
I felt helpless.
I couldn't talk.
I could only rely on the call button for the nurse to prevent me from choking on my blood.

It's hard to explain in words.

Wed 25/06/08:
Felt much better the next day. At about 1pm, I was moved to a normal ward where i continued suctioning of blood from my mouth. Luckily, there was lesser blood. Mainly, plasma, which continued to choke me. Finally turned on my handphone. Saw a few messages. Glad to see a message.

Zhiyuan, Lianghe and Elsa turned up after i replied Zee of my ward and bed number. I bet they were shocked to see my face. I was too initially. I din expect myself to look like that in the foreseeable future. Fat n swollen.

Ben came in the evening. Before which my doctor came to take a look at me. He was observing my right cheek and he told me that the screws and plates had somehow moved and it was causing quite a lot of swelling. He tried to manually adjust on my face. Pain was the only the thing i can say. Had to endure. He said to leave it till the next day and observe the situation, at most had to go for another op.

An hour later, he came back telling me it was better to go for the op. In the morning, there will be a lot of operations going on. Plus later in the night there won't be any operation at all. Parents were there. Bet they were worried sick but there wasn't much thing they could do.

At 1030pm, in the bed i lied. Already had an operation. Going for another operation. What more could i worry. He will only remove my right stitches at my right gums move through my cheeks and adjust. Great. This time, i had sedation instead where I slowly breathed in the anaesthestic and slept.

After 1.5 hours, I woke up. My right cheek swelling was going down. Felt much better. Tried to sleep. But the blockage to my nose and mouth was killing me again. Had to trouble the nurses to suck out the mucus and stuff. Tried the nose suction and it killed me. Though it did remove blood and plasma, It didn't had much effect. Had no choice, but to watch the Germany and Turkey match.

Thurs 26/06/08:

Finally managed to sleep in the early hours. Antibiotics and prevent gastic medicine was injected through my one and only IV tube.

Pain.

Endured.

Recovering.

4 odac peeps came to visit me. JO KS RT BX. Then another odac peep which i din see for some time came. JY. Felt at ease to see them. Bet they were teasing me about my swollen face. They took quite a number of photos. I cant do anything to stop them. Zee came soon after them. Felt much better. Swelling went down. Breathing was normal till 4 plus 5, where i had no choice but to close my eyes and try to sleep.

Lying in Bed since tuesday was bad. I was getting heat rash and there was nothing to do to stop it. It further spoiled my deprived sleep. As usual, at night was spent tossing and turning. This time tried to watch the Spain Russia match, but i could only hear the sounds. Was too tired but could not sleep due to the rash. It was a torture.

Friday 27/06/08:

Doc say to remove the drip from me and that if today i can intake water on my own, tomorrow i would be a free man. Felt happy.

Lonely throughout the day.
Stoning.
Tried to sleep.
Tried to watch tv.
Tried to not think of stuff.
Quite hard.

Last night in the hospital. Yay.

Saturday 28/06/08:

Had a much better sleep was trying to sleep on my side but keep my head straight. The rash din manage to get me much. Doctor told me i will go home and i was glad. Packed my stuff before my parents came. Drank my breakfast of plain fish soup and milo. Waited.

Finally before making a payment, I took off my glasses to clean my face. My mum noticed that the graft on my left side cheek was seemingly higher than my right side. They immediately called my dental clinic, but my doc had a conference. After some waiting and panicking, we went back to the clinic after being called back. Luckily it was at Paragon. Waited for my doc to come. The nurses at the clinic said i look much better.

When he came, he took a look at me. And i sensed something was wrong. He asked me if i was willing to take a jab while he enter my mouth for the third time to adjust the screw n plate. Sensing that i was afraid of it, he told me asked me whether i felt pain when he tried to adjust manually by physically moving the screws n plate on my face. I had no choice but to endure.

Pain.
Again.

Finally, after three tries of pushing. He managed to push back the screws and plate into place. He told me not to work the mouth too much. It will take about 18 days before the thing sets in place. After all, my cheekbone is hollow and the screws n plates are holding it in place. A few more weeks before the cheekbone will round up.

Guess i have my answer to orientation.
Doubt i will be going.
=(

Ever since i came home, I stopped trying to talk and move about greatly. Mum was overly worried and every time a question about is it pain? why you keep touching? dont touch?, I felt angry and exasperated. I know that my mum is concern but will you please dun worry too much. I heard what the doc say and the stuff i do is only things he told me to do to prevent the graft from moving too much. Things like preventing yawning by pressing against my lower jaw to the upper jaw.

Oh. i guess i din mention that both my lower and upper teeth are binded together by bands.
Cant eat. Cant talk.

Im dying of hungry at the moment. Hoping to survive this recovery weeks.

Nv NV NV will thinking of goin for another jaw operation. The feeling sucks. Recovery sucks. Not being to able to enjoy orientation sucks.

Hope it's all worth it.

Tata.
=(

There's something missing.